An Open Letter To People Attending Tomorrow's Boom...
Dear Boom Show Attendees, We can hardly believe it’s already been a month since that magical night. Hypothetical molestations were discussed at length, the difference between an iPhone and a Nokia Clamshell were made clear, and Jay’s testicles made a special guest appearance. We here at the Boom Laboratories have been busy as beavers, making sure tomorrow night’s show will be...
Now That I'm Unemployed, I Have All The Time In...
When I woke up at noon I had the great feeling that today is the day that I work on that novel. It’s a tale of intrigue, romance and the great American Spirit. And as soon as I masturbate, have a cigarette, go on facebook, watch a movie, compulsively check my email, have another cigarette I am ready to start sharing it with the world. Actually, I’m feeling kind of unfocused. I’d...
Hey, Can I Try Out Some Jokes On You?
You there, person I just met. Yes, you the one having a conversation with a friend. Mind if I try out some of my stand-up comedy jokes on you? Keep in mind they’re very new and likely not very funny. I will however maintain painful eye contact with you, desperately gauging your reaction to my every word. If you don’t laugh, I’ll be visibly hurt. If you force out a laugh I will...